Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
Randomize
