if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
