Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
