I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
Randomize
