ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
Randomize