Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize
