Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
There's even glitter on my cock...
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