i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
Is it penis luge time yet?
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
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