Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
