sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
I think i sorta joined a cult last night
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
I DEMAND FORESKIN
Randomize
