The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
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