we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
Randomize
