Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
Randomize
