In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
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