Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
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