I bet he comes in French.
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
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