i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
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