you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize
