I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
Dicks are not precious.
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
