11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
Randomize
