btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
Damn victory sex feels great
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
Randomize
