just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
Drunk in a bar in Texas. The 24 y/o hottie I am chatting up just called me a male cougar. I am dealing with this whole turning 40 thing juuuust fine.
I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
Randomize
