i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
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