dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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