So drunk its hurt
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
Randomize
