Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
You've changed since you got that strap on
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
Randomize
