So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
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