I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
Randomize
