Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
Randomize
