he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize
