I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
Randomize