you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
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