It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
Randomize
