Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
ugly people sure do ruin things
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
Randomize
