Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
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