I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
Randomize
