Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
Randomize
