I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Randomize
