marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
Randomize
