I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
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