In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
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