we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
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