I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
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