toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
FUCK WHALES
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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