oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
The cop let us off with a warning because I had more Twitter followers than he did. The future is terrifying.
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
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