I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
Randomize
