Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
Randomize
