Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
She is in my trunk
literally had 100 drinks last night.
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
Randomize