Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
it's like iHOP with fire
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
Randomize