I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Randomize
