Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
Randomize
