At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
Randomize
