im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Randomize
