The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Randomize
