I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
And my parents said I crawled through the house
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Randomize
