Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Randomize
