So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
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