Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
Randomize
