Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
Randomize
