remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
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