And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
Randomize
