Define "chronic" masturbator.
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
Randomize
